Friday, August 05, 2016

Hitler Invented the Olympic Torch (to Burn Jews With)

5. Brazil's politics, economy are huge messes as Olympics begin
If you want to know what Amerikwa will look like racially, economically, and socially in 2040, look to Brazil today. The transformation that is underway is what I like to call the Brazilification of the 'Kwa. As for Brazil, by 2040 it will basically be a bankrupt Negroid dictatorship similar to many that can be found in Africa today. And speaking of Africa ...

4. Kenyan husband hacks off wife's hands after saying she failed to have children
Quoting: [...] a hospital in Nairobi said [she] was fertile and it was her husband who had reproductive issues. In that case, she should have taken matters into her own hands long before and collected some baboon-baby-batter to rustle herself up some chilluns. Seriously though, this is a terrible story. Terribly funny ... Oh, A-drey-drey, just stop now - you're turribull. Speaking of baboon-baby-batter...

3. Photos Of Michael Jackson’s Kids Just Surfaced — See What They Look Like Now
The littlest one, Blanket, is obviously Negroidal. He actually could be Jackson's kid. But what 5-year-old boy's rectum would the IVF facility had to collect Jackson's sperm from in order to inseminate the surrogate? Oh, A-drey-drey - yuz tuurrrribulll!!! And speaking of race mixing defectives ...

2. [Muddy] Teen girl charged with murder after she 'convinced her [Mulatto] boyfriend and his [White Trash] friend  to stab and beat to death a man she claimed sexually abused her'
A triumph of MultiKulturalism! Young people of all races and ethnicities working together to murder an (alleged) pedophile and steal his credit cards. Oh Lord, Kumbaya. And now, back to the Olympics...

1. How Hitler Invented the Olympic Torch
The fuhrer's phone rang in the middle of the night. Eva nudged Adolf and said, "It's for you, fuhrer baby." The groggy German dictator took the receiver and told Eva "If Goering has gotten stuck in the booth at the all night schnitzel buffet again, I am sending him to a concentration camp to lose some weight." He then barked into the receiver "JA? WAZ UP MEIN NAZEE?"

Sheepishly, Himmler's voice came over the phone, "Mein Fuhrer, the pilot light is out on the crematorium, and there are dead jews piled up everywhere." Hitler responded "Doesn't anyone there have a lighter?" Himmler replied, "No mein fuhrer, we all gave up smoking to follow your example." Hitler slammed down the receiver and shrieked in a rage, "I guess if you want a parasitical race exterminated right, you have to do it yourself."

Still naked, Hitler leapt from his bed, grabbed a flaming stick from the fireplace, and ran through the night from Obersalzberg all the way to Auschwitz, where he lit the crematorium himself. To commemorate this astounding feat of genocidal athleticism, Himmler had the spectacle written into the 1936 Berlin Olympics.

Translated from the original Newspeak in "A Really Real History of the Holocaust and Stuff. Kwanian Press, 2036".

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