Thursday, May 12, 2016

Alligator Chew-Toy's Family Is Begging for Shekels

I suggest that GoFundMe should require the following explanatory statement on each of their fundraisers:

Go Fund Me ... Because I don't want to be responsible for my own actions, and neither does my family.

Quoting this story: Alligator Bites Off Man's Arm During A Mental Breakdown That Led Him Into Lake

Family members are trying to raise money to cover a prosthetic arm for a Florida man, who had most of it bitten clean off in an alligator attack after he reportedly suffered a mental breakdown Officials said they were called to a Lakeland home on Wednesday night in response to 21-year-old Jesse Kinsinger's "psychological issues." [...]

In an interview with the Orlando Sentinel,
[his mother] said Kinsinger was suffering from PTSD stemming from an armed home invasion two years ago. As cops arrived on the scene, Gross said Kinsinger "bolted" from the apartment complex and into a wooded area with a lake nearby: "He knew that law enforcement were looking for him." [...]

When officers spotted him,
[po-po's] said "they discovered him laying on the shoreline with three-fourths of his left arm missing from an apparent alligator incident." [Po-po's] said it appeared that his hand, as well as six or seven inches of his arm, were torn right off. [...]

A man who claims to be his brother-in-law wrote on their GoFundMe campaign, "I jumped over the railing to get to him last night, when he told me 'My hand hurts.' I asked him what hand he was talking about, and when he lifted his arm, there was nothing but meat and bone. There wasn't a single thing left."

Now let's read the brother-in-law's attempt to cash in on the idiocy ... er ... raise money to help deal with this tragedy.

Last night, my brother-in-law, Jesse Kinsinger was the victim of an alligator attack at my apartment complex in Lakeland, FL.

My name is Mike Taylor, and I'm trying to raise $100,000 to get him a new working arm. No body deserves to have this happen to them, and my family and I just don't have the money to provide this.

So far, Taylor has raised $250. That is precisely $250 more than he should have raised. In a sane society, he would have his arm torn off [by the legally appointed and empowered ministers of arm-pullery] for even suggesting that his mentally defective relation should receive $100k for a "new working arm" - especially since it is a sure bet that said defective hasn't done any "work" in his entire life. But we do not live in a sane society. Therefore, the donors didn't ask simple questions like, 'How did you manage to price the cost and plausibility of acquiring "a new working arm" when (as of 3 hours ago) the defective is still in surgery? How do you even know this freak is going to live, let alone if he is going to get "a new working arm"?'

Lazy alligators. A crocodile would have finished that mud right off.


  1. He'll just abuse and lose the robo-arm as well.

    But what the hell. Tards and freaks are the new cash crop of the SJW plantation.

    So how come you be get all up in they grille of The Commo(ro)n Man for trying to harvest some bling from this, just like, oh, say, your $150,000 a year tenured professor or $5 million a year bassbo coach or megamillion-salaried corporate diversihire!? I mean, like, somebody might think you raciss or sumpm.

    1. Yuck ... I don't want to think about how he might abuse that robo-arm.

      Yes, it is the circle of Western death. The tards at the bottom do something stupid. Along comes an intelligent technical person who can fix the problem the tard brought upon his/herself. In steps the money men who create a massive pile of debt and lend out the money to the tards to pay the intelligent people to fix the problem. And every year, it all just gets piled higher and deeper.