Tuesday, April 26, 2016

White People Horror Movie Stereotype Comes to Life

We all know the stereotype from any scary movie. The pretty White girl hears a strange noise in the haunted house (usually where a bunch of White kids were murdered a year before) and she decides to investigate. The tense music builds while she creeps into the enveloping darkness - "Hello? Is anyone there?". She walks to a closet that seems to be the source of the ominous sound, and painfully slowly, she reaches for the handle. Then some negress in the movie audience screams "Don't open that door you stupid bitch! What the fuck is wrong with White people?!?".

The thing is, like most stereotypes, this one exists for a reason. Young White people love doing stupid risky things like breaking into an abandoned house that they heard was haunted. It's not stupid because it is haunted (the fear of the supernatural only keeps darkies away), it is stupid because it is trespassing, and exposing oneself to the risks of a variety of problems - from tetanus to being crushed to death by a collapsing building.

Case in point ...

A 26-year-old woman died after crossing train tracks hoping to spot a legendary half-human, half-goat creature. Roquel Bain, of Dayton, Ohio, was in Louisville, Kentucky with her boyfriend when they heard the urban legend about the mythical beast.

The myth has it that a creature looking like a cross between a man and a goat lives under the Pope Lick trestle, next to the Fisherville neighborhood east of Louisville. The beast is rumored to hypnotize visitors and trick them into crossing the trestle, luring them to their death as they get hit by an oncoming train.

Bain and her boyfriend went up the trestle on Saturday evening and were walking on it when a train arrived.They realized they didn't have time to make it to the other side and decided to hang off the structure's sides [...]

AA says: HAHAHAHA! Sorry to interrupt, but did they pick that trick up watching a cartoon or something? Sheesh! So how'd that work out for you?

Bain didn't move fast enough and was stuck by the train, then fell 80 to 100 feet from the trestle. She died of multiple blunt force injuries, the coroner said. Her boyfriend survived without injuries.

What a flippin' cretin. Nice nose ring. I heard it was missing after the accident, but that the goat-man was later spotted wearing it as a scrotum piercing. Ooooooo - spooky!


  1. So the Pope Lick goat monster is a train?

    Well, I guess that makes sense.

    1. A twist worthy of Ding Dong Shambala, A.K.A. M._Night_Shyamalan.