Friday, November 27, 2015

The First Black Friday in the US of 'Kwa

From the CDN Ministry of Truth

Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, is a traditional shopping holiday which marks the beginning of the X-mas consumption season. The "X-" is quite appropriate in this context, as the most Christian thing to be found on this holiday is the delight of Jews watching Christians beat each other senseless for the right to purchase a  plastic nativity scene at 20% below retail price (which is still 10 times the wholesale value, which is itself just 20% above the cost of keeping Asian factory slaves churning out plastic nativity scenes). Black Friday is also the most ethnically and socially diverse annual recurrence of mass hysteria in human history. Jews are engaged via their mercantile interests. Christians are engaged via their consumerist habits. Muslims are engaged by receiving donations of all the crap Christians bought last year, but that they are now donating to Muslim migrant families in order to free up space to buy more crap this year.

How did such a tradition get started? It is easy to look back only over recent decades, and assume the rise of the Asian slave economies made possible the Walmart-ization of the West from which Black Friday sprang. But the Walmartization is merely a modern manifestation of a very old Amerikwan impulse - the desire to give money to Jews in order to buy things that you are just going to later regret buying. And that is where we find the origin of Black Friday - all the way back in the early colonial history of Massachusetts.


On Friday 25 November 1634, the Massachusetts Bay Colony welcomed the slave ship Burden and its cargo of 72 African slaves. The ships owner, Hiram Goldesman, a dutchman ... wink, wink ... had acquired the slaves in the West Indies at a steep discount, owing to his habit of only purchasing slaves he had first poisoned with spoiled food. Their owners, eager to dispose of diarrheal Africans, were more than grateful for Hiram's offer of bulk purchase. So that his ruse would not be uncovered, Hiram would be out to sea before the Africans had a chance to recover.

The pilgrims in Massachusetts Bay, along with their governor John Winthrop, gathered at the docks to hear Hiram's pitch:

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Goyls ... I have here the latest and greatest in labor-saving devices in the Christian World. From heart of darkest Africa, land of primordial swamp and plague ridden jungle, wherein the towerin', hoary great Apes carry off the wives of Mohammedans and sire upon them creatures half man and half ape, I present to you ... the Negro ... Africanus subhumanus.

Have a field that needs tillin'? Ya better get yourself a Negro.
Have a ditch that needs diggin'? Ya better get yourself a Negro.
Have a crop that needs pickin'? Ya better get yourself a Negro.

Why, you ask? Because there is simply no better beast of labor in existence. Dark skin, so they don't burn up in the midday sun. Strong backs, so they can carry whatever you don't want to. Dumb as bricks so they won't be doin' any day dreamin'. Short hair so they don't shed all over your furniture - you simply can't go wrong. Trust me folks, you and your descendants will never have to work another day in your life. You are going to create a land of peace and harmony like has never existed in the history of mankind. But I have to warn you, these are the only Negros in existence, so supplies are extremely limited. I can tell you right now if you don't have one of these under your tree for Christmas, your family will never forgive you! And I would hate to have to sail off and sell these Negros to some Papist Spaniard to give to his family for Navidad!


Needless to say, Hiram's pitch had the desired effect. As soon as he finished speaking the crowd of pilgrims rushed forward for a chance to put an end to their lives of meaningless toil. As the bidding intensified, the hat buckles came off, and the men began furiously attacking one another for a chance to own a Negro. Governor Winthrop himself was strangled with his own ruff, which today is house in the Smithsonian Museum's "Colonial Apparel Homicides" exhibit.

Hiram sailed away that night with a ship brimming with wealth, while the battered pilgrims ran back to their homes with their new Negro acquisitions in tow. Unfortunately, by Christmas, it had become apparent that Negroes did not live up to their advertised reputation. But that is another story - the first attempt to return a Christmas gift purchase without a receipt.

4 comments:

  1. Christmas is a great time to offend the crybaby liberals
    Santa clause =racist and misogynistic
    Reindeer and elf = animal cruelty
    Christmas trees= Global warming
    Miseltoe = homophobic
    And the biggest reason why liberals hate Christmas is Christianity, I'm not a bible thumper but I won't allow some queer liberal to tell me Christmas is evil,instead of a Christmas tree they would prefer a big black dildo

    Also fags love Christmas,they get to dress up and molest young boys!



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Quite a list.

      I suggest that Santa is a great cuckservative. He is rich, so he feels the need to give away stuff for free to alleviate his White guilt. He only gives those gifts to Christian children, and just flies over the Muslim countries. And he has no kids, so he adopted all those elves from their Third World hollow trees and put them to work at slave wages (peppermint candies).

      Delete
  2. Black Friday, the day when niggers beaners and white trash fight over overpriced crap

    The clever jew knows how to make big money from stupid goyim
    Also the word black Friday is racist and so is white Christmas,
    how long before Christmas is banned in the JEWnited states?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Leftist Revolution will eat its own as they run out of targets to tear down. They aren't able to see how much they benefit from the consumer culture's pacification of the cattle. Some Leftists actually believe the Slow March Left is a victory for their ideals! They do not realize the West's slow compromise with its own inevitable destruction is just an attempt to prolong its comfortable life as long as possible.

      The Western cattle-people are easily spooked, but may be gradually led to the slaughter. Leftist attacks on the Christmas season can only succeed if they 1) are incremental changes, 2) they do not stop the consumers gorging at the trough. Obey these two rules, and whatever you want to do to the masses, you can do.

      Delete