Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Jewey Jared from Subway Pleads Guilty

Looks as if Jewey Jared Fogle from Subway did, in fact, touch the chilluns. Wow, a Jewish child molester -  who would have thunk it? So stereotypes exist for a reason. According to the first article linked in this post, Jared will now spend the next 5 to 10 years receiving 6 to 12 inches, measurements with which he was orally familiar, but now with which he shall become anally familiar.

It must be so shocking to the fat-haters out there that a nutritionally kosher anti-fat crusader ended up being a terrible person. Because fat = bad and skinny = good, right? Guess not. It would be just swell if the sheeple would seriously ask themselves: How in the world did this guy become a celebrity in the first place? What does it say about our society that we made a millionaire out of a child molesting low-calorie-sandwich enthusiast? Is humanity really that shallow, that this heeb deviant was considered a role model, just because he had successfully dieted?

I know I spent most of yesterday's post making fat jokes at Rosie O'Donnell's expense, so it would be easy to count me among the fat-haters. But just because I make disparaging jokes about something, doesn't mean I hate it. Also, I know in hypersensitive, touchy-feely, special snowflake Amerikwa, criticism = hate, but that is not true.  I hate Rosie O'Donnell because she is a culture-destroying, Hollyweird tool, not because she is fat. Making fun of her for being fat is just what it sounds like - making fun - having fun by making jokes. Rosie could get gastric bypass and become skinny like Al Sharpton did - but just as with Al Sharpton, my hatred would remain because I despise leftism.

But what about those in our society whose opinions of a person actually improve simply because the person loses weight? Isn't it disturbing to consider that there are actually people who developed a good opinion of Jared Fogle merely because he was a sandwich-shop's poster-kike for successful weight loss, and that said good opinion will now be tarnished by discovering he was a chillun-toucher? They must exist, otherwise, Jared wouldn't have become a celebrity and a millionaire. Could you imagine meeting such a person? Someone who would actually  say "I really liked Jared, before I found out he molested kids." Should you encounter this being, wiping sweet onion teriyaki from its chin, you will know immediately that you are looking the reason for the Death of the West straight in the face.


  1. Yes hello, id like a 6 inch hot Mexican with double meat and a small wiener
    Subway cashier: would that be eat in or take away Jared?
    foglestein: just bring pedro to my apartment
    He will LOVE it in prison, getting his taco stuffed with dark meat

    1. HA! The thing that most shocked me about this whole affair is that Jared has a wife and kids. Perhaps his pedophilia thing really was a way for him to achieve the alternative lifestyle of a prison wife.