Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Chingy Chong Kills Girlfriend's Dog, Feeds it to Her

You pretty much have the whole story in the headline, but here are the details. Quoting:

Authorities say Ryan Watenpaugh, 34, got into an argument with his ex-girlfriend on August 4 before allegedly physically assaulting her. The victim fled out the back door and noticed both Watenpaugh and her Pomeranian named Bear were gone from the residence when she returned.

Nearly a month later, after the couple briefly reconciled, Watenpaugh cooked his former girlfriend a meal which included meat. Shortly after, the victim received a series of disturbing text messages from her ex, according to a press release from the Redding Police Department.

Watenpaugh texted his former girlfriend, "How's your dog taste? I thought it was better with BBQ and those Hawaiian buns," followed by "I guess u could bury what u didn't eat," CNN affiliate KRCR reported. [...]


On September 9, during the early morning hours, Watenpaugh’s ex-girlfriend allegedly heard a truck pull up to her residence. Upon looking outside, the victim said she saw Watenpaugh walk up to her front door, place something near the door and walk away. When she opened her front door, she found a small bag containing two dog paws and a note containing the words "burn in hell," police 
say.

Let's go through the stereotype check list:

Asian men are not desirable as boyfriends - check.
Asian men have a fetish for dismemberment - check.
Asian men kill and cook dogs for dinner - check.

All he needs now is a selfie of his cashew penis and Ryan Watenpaugh will win 2014's Most Stereotypical Asian Guy Award.

2 comments:

  1. I am asian, asshole. I would be fine with an asian boyfriend as well. Dismemberment is absolutely disgusting as well as eating dogs. I love my dog like a child and am horrified at the prospect of eating any pet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're Asian? I am sorry to hear that. It's not your fault - but who are you trying to convince about your disgust at the concept of eating a dog - me? our yourself?

      Glad to know you would be "fine" with an Asian boyfriend. Kind of like being "fine" with a C- in Algebra. (I'm using a grades/school/math comparison because you're Asian - I'm turr-uh-bull!) And I'm also very, very White, so I'm sure you would love me long time.

      Delete