Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Don't Be Rapin' Goats

Quoting this story:

The Phoswa family from KwaMpande in Sweetwaters, near Pietermaritzburg had their goat raped by a [sub-ape] from the area. They said they were saddened by the court’s decision to give him a suspended sentence on Thursday. They had hoped the court would make him pay back their goat, which was meant for a ceremony.

Thabang Mosiu, a Lesotho national, was sentenced to two years, suspended for five years by Magistrate Chris van Vuuren. Thabang admitted that he raped the goat. He said he committed the crime after he was advised by another man that this was a way of getting rid of bad luck.

The scary thing is that I am sure there is some Oooga-Booga who read the story and thought - Well, did it get rid of his bad luck or not?

Exactly how does a rumor like that get started?

Thabang: I am having the worst luck! Nothing seems to go right for me these days.

Cuntango: I used to be like you friend, before I raped a goat!

Thabang: Really, that brought you good luck?

Cuntango: Hey, I got laid didn't I?

Back to the story:

The Phoswa family was still working on some means to get a goat for a traditional ceremony. They said the molested animal was meant to be slaughtered for a function next month but now it can’t be eaten.

Yeah, right. You know that papa Phoswa, when he walked in on Thabang going to town on his goat shrieked - Damn you! I was going to rape that goat! My bad luck strikes again!

I know, I know. Some "White" man once raped a goat, so don't even bother to post an exasperated reply to that effect. The difference here is that black people come from a society in which goat-rape is considered a way of curing bad luck, and having your goat raped ruins your traditional goat-slaughtering soiree.

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