Tuesday, April 29, 2014

When the "eyes" don't have it

Is it me, or did there used to be more cross-eyed people around? When I was growing up in the 80's, there were some really cross-eyed kids at my elementary school. I'm not talking a little off center - I am talking staring at the tip of your own nose cross-eyed. Is it more common to fix crossed-eyes nowadays?

I have never liked looking into the eyes of cross-eyed people. It gives me eye strain. It's the same looking at people who have one eye that is kind of pointing off into the distance. I can never seem to figure out which of their eyes I am supposed to be looking into. When it comes to a disability of this sort, why not just admit it and point to the eye you want the other person to look into? You can tell I am having trouble, give me some freakin' help here!

Why did I choose this topic today? I have recently been exposed to PC Matic commercials featuring an Asian fellow by the name of Rob Cheng. Rob's eyes are set way too close together, and I don't like it. He reminds me of the builder from an episode of Family Guy:


Builder: Well, I fixed the power line, but the town's zoning laws prohibit building a pool back there.
Peter: What are you talking about? It's my yard!
Builder: I'm sorry, but your house is too close to the curb.
Peter: Oh yeah? Well... your eyes are too close to your nose!
Builder: That may be, but you know what? I only have to wear one goggle when I go swimming in my pool!

I'm guessing Rob Cheng only needs one goggle as well.

14 comments:

  1. Hilarious. I thought the same

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    1. Oh, thank God. I thought it was just me.

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    2. That guy clearly carries the DNA of a humanoid ancestor that inspired Homer to write about a cyclops in the Odyssey. I just saw him on TV and had to Google him to see if anyone felt the same way. I am relieved to know that I am not alone.

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    3. Thanks for taking us back to the classics. We are certainly not alone.

      There are dozens of Google searches daily that lead to this post. They typically contain "Rob Cheng" or "PC Matic Guy" along with words and phrases such as:

      Eyes
      Scary
      Weird Eyes
      Crossed Eyes
      Freak
      What's wrong with

      I can tell a Rob Cheng commercial just aired because there will be like 30 search hits in a row for this post.

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  2. Lol I searched the internet for people who wondered the same thing and your's was the first site I came across. Hahaha!

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    1. That there are others thinking the same has restored some of my faith in humanity.

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  3. Same here. I searched the internet looking for others who felt the same way about Rob Cheng's eyes. seriously, they're like two inches apart.

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    1. Thank you for posting! It's like we are forming a support group for people who are freaked out by Rob Cheng's eyes.

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  4. This is awesome, I have often thought the same but today's new PC matic commercial really emphasized his eyes which are scary! looks like a Charlie Brown character. I googled the topic and found this. Glad I am not the only one

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    1. Oh, dear God I just watched the newest commercial on YouTube. I had to express my horror on the main page.

      http://compulsorydiversitynews.blogspot.com/2015/02/pc-matics-rob-chengs-scary-eyes.html

      Thank you very much for voicing your experience. Welcome to our anonymous support group for people traumatized by Rob Cheng's close-set-eyes.

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  5. Freaks me out too! He's hard to look at. I want to turn away but I just keep looking... like I'm waiting for his two scary eyes to meet in the middle like a cyclops.

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    1. Thank you for sharing. Together, we are strong.

      His eyes are the stuff of nightmares. I bet the last time he went to the eye doctor, they tried to fit him with a monocle.

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  6. So when are you awesome people going to start a company as successful as PC Matic and appear in your own product commercials so that we can all comment on your physical appearance?

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    1. Oh, calm down Rob. Take a joke. Why don't you head on over to Amazon and troll each of the 38% of reviewers who gave your "successful" product 1 star.

      One more thing ... "So that we can all comment"? We? Who's we? You and the voices in your head? Your invisible army of angels? Do your multiple personalities take turns typing your butthurt comments on old, obscure blog posts?

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