Monday, March 03, 2014

Back into Africa

This may come as a complete shock to all of you, but I do not watch the Academy Awards. I know - you're stunned. But today I came across an image from last night's Awards that I felt encapsulated the spirit of the Awards, as well as the reason why I will never waste my time watching them. Take a look.

Here we have loony leftist Meryl Streep, 64-years-old, shimmying while making awkwardly intense, prolonged eye contact with a prancing hipster Negro (Pharrell Williams). You can almost hear her hip bones cracking and her labial cobwebs snapping! Ewww...gross. Thank goodness for Geritol, or she wouldn't be able to keep up with her young buck.

While she is not busy condemning Walt Disney as the most evil man since Adolf Hitler, Meryl is granting interviews where she expresses dismay that none of her four children have yet made her a grandmother. Does that not strike you as a surprisingly pedestrian concern for an elderly woman who spends her Sunday evenings swinging her aged bosoms on global television?

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