Thursday, February 06, 2014

Dear Addy,

I found a Dear Abby letter from a woman who is dating a "racist" man. I decided to add my response below Abby's. The link to the original can be found here.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating someone for about six months. We fell in love very quickly and spend almost every second together. He’s the perfect man, except for his racist views.

Our relationship has hit a rough patch ever since he found out that I have dated African-American men. He can’t seem to get over it, but he keeps saying he wants to try to make it work. He says cruel things sometimes when he gets mad, and it seems to be on his mind constantly. I don’t know what to do or how to make this better. We fell in love, but it seems to be spoiled because of my past.

This isn’t a big deal to me. I have always dated people I thought were good people. He seems to view it as disgusting. I thought he was my soul mate because we connected so well on everything else, but I’m afraid he will never get past this issue and I may be wasting my time. 
What should I do? — Rocky Road in the South

DEAR ROCKY ROAD: Give him a hug and let him go. You are the sum total of your experiences and your upbringing, and the same is true of your boyfriend. He comes from a background of racial prejudice. When a person is raised that way, the mindset can be very difficult to change.

As much as you might want to, you can’t fix this man; only he can do that. And from your description of him, I don’t think he’s capable of that kind of growth.

Addy says -

DEAR ROCKY ROAD: Haven't you ever heard the expression, "Once you go black, we don't want you back!"? You might as well have told him you've been repeatedly fucked by dogs, or that you give blow jobs to pigs. You've committed bestiality, and you're stupid enough to tell people about it. I know it is difficult for you to understand the concept of finding sex with animals gross, since you have slept with niggers. So, I shall try to give you another example. Imagine your perfect man told you he's had sex with his mother - as revolting as that concept is to you, the concept of you getting plowed by nignogs is to him. But his revulsion is morally wrong!, you declare. But do you feel revulsion to the concept of incest because it is morally wrong, or is the revulsion innate and primal - like being sickened by stepping into a pile of excrement? To normal, healthy people, you are the person who not only doesn't mind stepping in the excrement, you don't even have the courtesy to wipe it off your shoes before entering someone else's house! Let this poor, perfect man go, and then have your tubes tied.


  1. Ha.. I like how it's him that is damaged and not her. It should be him dumping her for character flaws, not her dumping him.

  2. I most definitely agree. She admits he is the "perfect" man, except for the fact that he is repulsed by her sexual past. It hasn't occurred to her that he is correct about her, and she has something of which to be ashamed. You would think she could grasp that - after all, he is "perfect"!

    Instead, she runs off to Dear Jewwy, to be told it's all his fault. Still, he needs to man up and move on too. There are many White women who respect their race, and they would be a good match for a man who felt the same.