Tuesday, January 28, 2014

CDN Exclusive: Origin of Grey Aliens Discovered

Over the years, I have heard/read theories that "The Greys", aliens said to be similar to those depicted in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, are actually humans from the future, who have come back in time to gather DNA or perform experiments to save their dying species.

Of course, being a racist, I have put my own spin on the theory. If these grey aliens are future humans, I speculate, they would have to be hyper-evolved Asians. "Why?", you ask. Because they are such terrible drivers! Think of the Roswell crash for Christ's sake. You can travel through hyperspace, but as soon as you hit Earth's atmosphere you end up plunging your saucer into the desert? And think of all the reports of UFO's erratic movements, sudden turns, violent accelerations - just like Asian drivers on America's roads.

Up until today, this has all been a flight of fancy, but now I have proof. Witness this article from the Mail Online, which describes how a South Korean television personality surgically altered herself to achieve her Asian ideal of beauty. Quoting the article: "A small face with a 'V-shaped' chin and jawline is considered a mark of feminine beauty in much of East Asia, along with a high-bridged nose and big eyes."

And where will this trend lead - see the pictures below:

I expect the History Channel to offer me my own Friday night show any day now.

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