Monday, December 09, 2013

He can beat you with one arm cut off, stuck behind a boulder.

Alright - look at the picture below.

Now tell me, why was this person arrested / what was his crime?
a) Spree shooter
b) Serial killer of prostitutes
c) Decapitated school children
d) Raped a goat
e) Cult leader who poisoned the punch

Actually, surprisingly, astonishingly even, this psycho-eyed perpetrator was only arrested for domestic violence. Seems he was accused of pushing his baby mama. But, according to this article, the charges against him have already been dropped. So why does he look so insanely guilty of something horrible - some crime against nature? That is one scary - "I see dead people." - kinda look, don't you think? So who the hell is this crazy fucker?

The "man" pictured above is Aron Ralston, better known as that guy who cut his own arm off after getting it trapped behind a boulder while hiking in 2003. Since mutilating himself like an animal chewing its way out of a steel trap, Ralston has made a career of performing other stupid wilderness stunts, and afterward giving motivational speeches about overcoming adversity and facing your fears - which is no doubt made much easier by being a self-mutilating psychopath with a heightened pain threshold.

Dear White Persons,

Please stop idolizing "people" who perform physically exceptional things. It leads you down the path of worshiping apes who spend their lives playing with their plastic balls, while simultaneously looking for inspiration from "White" deviants with damaged frontal lobes.

Thank you, Adrean

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