Monday, June 10, 2013

Hoe-Ree Crap! Gojira Baby

This story is a bit dated, but I still found it amusing as potential racist fodder. Last year in February, a woman in central China gave birth to 15.5 pound baby, just in time for the year of the dragon. Are we sure it wasn't the year of the pig, instead? The video shows her bed-ridden with a blanket up to her chin. Undoubtedly, trying to give birth to that behemoth probably split her from twat to tits - so they had to cover up the gaping hole in her abdomen.


Other funny considerations regarding Chun-Chun, the massive Chinese baby:

1) Why is the kid named after a panda?
2) Bet his penis as an infant is bigger than his father's is as an adult.
3) Wonder if he violates the one child policy, simply based on weight?
4) Wonder how they will reattach the mother's legs to her pelvis?
5) The doctors wondered why Chun-Chun was born wearing ear muffs, then they discovered it was his mother's muff he was wearing.
6) If this had happened to a White couple in Britain, the government would have taken the baby into protective custody and put the parents in jail.
7) If this had happened in America, the media would have blamed McDonald's.
8) If this had happened in Samoa, the kid would have been called dangerously underweight.
9) If this had happened in Zimbabwe, the kid would have been called lunch.
10) I hear they have arranged Chelsea Charms as Chun Chun's wet nurse.

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