Monday, April 15, 2013

Boston Marathon Bombing has conspiracy written all over it!

CDN has spent hours pouring through the data and analyzing the crime scene photos from today's bomb attack at the Boston Marathon. We've come to the conclusion that the well executed operation was obviously the work of a group upset that their agenda has been pushed out of the media spotlight. Now think- the theme of this year's Boston marathon was 26 miles for 26 victims. As a result, gun control is now at the top of the Obama agenda. So what has been tossed aside like a semen-filled, busted prophylactic? Gay marriage! Who conspired to execute this dastardly plot? Look at these suspicious people photographed at the event and it becomes clear. A gay conspiracy is behind the Boston Marathon Bombing.

Alternative headlines for Boston Marathon Bombing:

1) More proof exercise is bad for you - 2 dead, 80 injured at Boston Marathon.
2) Boston Marathon finally made more interesting with exploding obstacle course at finish line.
3) Boston Marathon turns into Boston Massacre - Tea Party blamed by MSNBC Tories.
4) Boston Marathon runners mysteriously explode into chowder, spray spectators with Manhattan style broth.
5) Paula Dean and Louis Anderson denounce events at Boston Marathon as terrorism, learn of bombing hours later while sharing a wedding cake for lunch.
6) Double amputee lauded for inspiring projectile finish at Boston Marathon has medal reclaimed after it is discovered she started the race with both legs intact.

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