Saturday, January 29, 2011

Muff Diving Becomes a Special Olympic Sport

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have ... a crippled dyke.

Geri Jewell (the unfunniest victim of cerebral palsy ever), best known for her role as "Cousin Geri" on the 80's sitcom Facts of Life ...

CDN callback - Best known? What else is she known for, precisely?

...has announced to the world that she is a lesbian. Not only that, a lesbian with cerebral palsy no less! And what a timely and poignant announcement it is too, considering she is at the height of her meteoric career.

Will we ever get to the point as a society that we simply refuse to give every prancing Hollywood fairy boy or mullet-wielding carpet muncher 15 minutes more fame simply for announcing their embarrassing secret to the world? Or could we at least let the tag line read -"Who the fuck cares?"

Well, I guess it is a little intriguing, from the angle of the dynamics of cunnilingus from a person with cerebral palsy. Isn't it difficult enough to find that little man in the boat, without one's head shaking all around? If one cannot get one's tongue to work when speaking, how does one dare hope to accurately deliver same tongue for maximal effectiveness? On the other hand, is it more like working with a vibrator that has a mind of it's own - always keeping one guessing? Who knows? And what kind of freak wants to find out?

In the following clip, Geri Jewell recounts how she reminded busty jewess Charlotte Rae of Charlotte's autistic son - which apparently made Mrs. Garrett uncomfortable. Or maybe Mrs. Garrett was just afraid Geri was going to use cerebral palsy as an excuse to fall between the aged actress's enormous, flabby breasts and motorboat the hell out of them.

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