Friday, November 19, 2010

T and A, TSA

Always eager to think outside of the box, I (your beloved mouthpiece for the New World Order) have come up with the perfect solution (a final solution if you will) to this growing public backlash against the nanny state's ever more intrusive/abusive coddling of you wretched cattle.

All I hear about lately is how degrading it is to go through airport security and have your man junk or lady bumps fondled by heavy-handed high school dropouts with B.O. and appallingly dirty fingernails (A.K.A. the brave men and women of the TSA). How the full body scanners radiate you to the point of sterilization and still cannot see inside your innumerable cavities and orifices.
This backlash follows on the heels of the electoral rejection of the nanny state's unpopular Obamacare initiatives, that will make going to the doctor like waiting in line at airport security while flights are grounded all day because a pelican pinged the radar as an unknown aircraft.
Hence my idea - as the two are becoming pracically indistinguishable, why not meld them together? Have the TSA perform breast exams and mammograms at the same time as they confirm passengers are not wearing false boobs sculpted from C-4. Have the TSA check for testicular cancer while making sure passenger's scrotums are not housing cherry bombs. And have the TSA check for prostate and colorectal cancer while making sure passenger's anal cavities are not housing sticks of poo-shaped dynamite.
Don't tell me you won't sleep better on your flight from Philadelpia to Atlanta knowing your anus, and the anuses of your fellow passengers, are free of both polyps and TNT!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Driving Miss Nancy: He's not in the back of the bus, he's in the driver's seat!

Evil wicked racist extraordinaire Rush "Pillsbury" Limbaugh reached a new depth of hateful partisanship when he suggested on air today that the democrats are trying to deny majority whip Jim Clyburn, a black man, a leadership position in the reformed democratic congressional power structure.

He went further - oh, please, dear non-existent God give me strength - when he suggested Jim Clyburn's new position could be "Driving Miss Nancy". Quoting Pillsbury: "He's not in the back of the bus, he's in the driver's seat. And she's in the back of the car being chauffeured."

Be calm my ravenous Nubians - his soul will yet be yours to rend for this disgrace. How DARE he say such a thing! Disgusting! Revolting! Sickening! How dare he give away Nancy and Jim's act for the Spring Congressional Talent Show! After those two worked so hard on their routine - all to have their little hearts shred to pieces. Well, I guess there is no point in hiding it any longer. Here is a picture from Sunday's rehearsal. I weep for the death of theatre.

Friday, November 05, 2010

Mad Libs

If we take any given piece of impotent histrionics produced by any given overweening leftist blowhard and substitute the words of his or her ideology for the ideology of his or her enemy, the soul-consuming hate of the leftist floats to the surface for all to see. This is the genius of Mad Libs! Even the bias of the left will not prevent the acknowledgement of the hate-fueled ranting of one of their own, when the terminology of their side has been swapped for the terminology of their opponents. By way of example, let's see what happens when we play a game of Mad Libs with the recent work of a certain antiracist crackpot. Now be careful my disciples of the New World Order - don't let our little wordplay slip out into the hands of the enemy. This is only for our amusement, not for the enlightenment of the cattle. Substitutions are in red.

An Open Letter to the White Guilty, On the Occasion of Your Recent, Laughable Temper Tantrum

By Tim Sophos-Moros

*NOTE: PLEASE RE-READ THE TITLE OF THIS ESSAY BEFORE GOING FURTHER. NOTICE, IT IS AIMED AT THE WHITE GUILTY. NOT ALL WHITE PEOPLE. ANYONE WHO THINKS THIS ESSAY IS “ANTI-WHITE PEOPLE,” AS OPPOSED TO THAT SEGMENT OF THE WHITE COMMUNITY THAT IS LEFT WING, CANNOT READ PLAIN ENGLISH. PLEASE TRY AGAIN.*

For all y’all champagne liberals, with caviar dreams.

And for y’all a bit lower on the economic scale, enjoy your Obama kool-aid, or shitty ass mojitos if you prefer.

Whatever the case, and whatever your economic station, know this…

You need to drink up.

And quickly.

And heavily.

Because your time is limited.

Real damned limited.

So party while you can, but mind the increasingly loud clock ticking away in the corners of your consciousness.

The clock that reminds you how little time you and yours have left.

Not much more now.

Tick, tock.

Tick, tock.

Tick.

Tock.

I know, you think you’ve saved your country by electing a black man president two years ago — and of course you have always thought it was yours for the saving, cuz that’s what white guilt folks are bred to believe, that it’s whitie's fault, and how dare anyone else say otherwise — but you are wrong.

You have won a small battle in a larger war the meaning of which you do not remotely understand.

‘Cuz there is nothing even slightly original about you.

There have always been those who wanted to take the country back.

There were those who, in past years, wanted to take the country back to a time of debt enslavement and usury-driven servitude.

But they lost.

There were those who wanted to take us back to a time when unions paralyzed mines and factories, when workers had to stand in breadlines, when the skies in every major city were heavy with the soot from burning urban centers that would gather on sidewalks and windowsills like volcanic ash.

But they lost.

There were those who wanted to take us back to a time when women could not vote, or attend any but a few colleges, or get loans in their own names, or start their own businesses - all in the name of making western democracy more accommodating to Muslim immigrant's Sharia law.

But they lost.

There were those who wanted to take us back to a time when blacks didn't realize “responsibility does not end at conception" – this being the official opinion of President Barack Obama before these awful days when the concept of personal accountability, now decried by the likes of you – points out the injustice of affirmative action, when people white in color can legally be kept from getting into college solely because of race, or holding certain jobs, or living in certain neighborhoods, or run out of other towns altogether when the sun would go down, because of hoax nooses you strung up from trees.

But they lost.

And you will lose.

So make a note of it.

Tweet it to yourself.

Put it on your Facebook wall and leave it there so you’ll remember that I told you so.

It is coming, and soon.

This isn’t hubris. It isn’t ideology. It is not wishful thinking.

It is math.

Not even advanced math. Just simple, basic, like 3rd grade math.

The kind of math that proves how your kind — mostly guilt-ridden white folks beholden to an absurd, inaccurate, nostalgic fantasy of what America used to be like — are dying.

You’re like the bad guy in every horror movie ever made, who gets shot five times, or stabbed ten, or blown up twice, and who will eventually pass — even if it takes four sequels to make it happen — but who in the meantime keeps coming back around, grabbing at our ankles as we walk by, we having been mistakenly convinced that you were finally dead this time.

Fair enough, and have at it. But remember how this movie ends.

Our ankles survive.

You do not.

Michael Meyers, Freddie Kreuger, Jason, and that asshole husband in that movie with Julia Roberts who tracks her down after she runs away and changes her identity–they are all done. Even that crazy fucker in Saw is about to be finished off for good. Granted, he’s gonna be popping out in some 3-D shit to scare the kiddies, so he isn’t going quietly. But he’s going, as all bad guys eventually do.

And in the pantheon of American history, guilty-conscienced white people have pretty much always been the bad guys, the keepers of the hegemonic and progressivist flame, the folks unwilling to share the category of American with others because the only true Americans smoke 'em peace pipe and cry when paleface throw 'em trash on the highway.

Fine, keep it up. It doesn’t matter.

Because you’re on the endangered list.

And unlike, say, the bald eagle or some exotic species of muskrat, you are not worth saving.

In forty years or so, maybe fewer, there won’t be any more guilt-driven white people around who actually remember that All in the Family, Good Times, Norman Lear People For the American Way bullshit that you hold so near and dear to your heart.

There won’t be any more white folks around who think the 1960s were the good old days, because there won’t be any more white folks around who actually remember them, and so therefore, we’ll be able to teach about them accurately and honestly, without hurting your precious feelings, or those of the so-called “love-in hippie generation” — a bunch whose white members were by and large a gaggle of miscreants who helped save the world from corporate fascism by getting stoned only to return home reeking of Patchouli oil, scratching their crotch rot, doing nothing but lifting a limp fist on behalf of the civil rights struggle.

So to hell with you and all who revere you.

By then, half the country will still be white. And there is nothing you can do about it.

Nothing, Herr Feingold .
Nothing, Herr Fisher, or Frau Pelosi, or Herr Maddow.
Essen mein scheisse, Jude.
And by then you will have gone all in as an anti-white movement — hell you’ve all but done that now — thus guaranteeing that the unafraid folks without color, and even a decent size minority of common sense non-white folks will be able to crush you, election after election, from the Presidency on down to the 8th grade student council.

Like I said, this shit is math, baby. And numbers don’t lie.

Bottom line, this too shall pass.

So enjoy your cap-and-trade fairytale a while longer.

Go buy whatever you people buy with your carbon dollars: a new Volt or two, a bigger halfway house, a 9 million dollar mansion for Al Gore. Whatever.

Go back to monetizing your debt, engaging in rampant globalization that produces nothing of value, that turns the whole world into your personal plantation. Whatever.

Play your hand, and for the love of God play it big. Real big. As in, shoot for the moon big. As in, try to nationalize the banks, and the media, and everything else. Whatever.

At least that way everyone will be able to see what you’re really about.

We’ve been trying to tell them, but nothing beats seeing it with your own eyes, so "Yes, we can," Moonbeam.
"Change isn't easy."

"Let me be clear," or whatever other stupid-ass Obama catch phrase strikes your fancy.

Just promise you’ll do more than talk this time.

Please, or as one of your celluloid heroes might put it, “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfuckin snakes on this motherfuckin plane!"

Do whatever you gotta do, but remember that those who are the victims of your pandering and hypocrisy take the long view.

They know, but you do not, that justice is not your ambition, but rather self-immolation, they will continue creating civilization, while you are pouring gasoline over your head.

They are like the hare to your tortoise.
Only in a children's bedtime story can you win.
They are like the Washington Generals, to your Harlem Globetrotters, a bunch that loses year after year after year, only because you staged the game.

You have had this false sense of confidence before, remember?

You thought you had secured your position permanently after Lincoln suggested shipping emancipated blacks to the Yucatan, after declaring victory during the War on Poverty, after spitting on the troops coming home from Vietnam, after Rodney King asked for us just to get along. And yet, they who refuse to die are still here.

Because those who have lived on the margins, who you insist have been abused, maligned, targeted by austerity measures and budget cuts, subjected to racism, classism, sexism, straight supremacy and every other form of oppression cannot in a dark alleyway distinguish you from those you claim abuse them.

They don't have to study you, to pay careful attention, to adjust their behaviors accordingly, or memorize your political correctness.

You, on the other hand, need to know everything about them. And this, will surely prove fatal to you in the end. For it means you will not realize the depth of their contempt for you. Will not fear it, as you should.

It means you will take their greatest weaknessparasitism — and make of it a strength, called human equality.

But what you forget, or more to the point never knew, is that those who use know how to use, which is to say they know how to use shamelessly.

And those who are responsible know how to be responsible, which is to say they know how to work for a living: a skill that is in short supply amid the likes of you.

You, who could not survive the thought of minimal social security reform, or letting fail that which was too big, or making payments on a mortgage you should never have assumed the burden of, perhaps are under the illusion that everyone is as weak as you, as soft as you, as akin to petulant children as you are, as unable to cope with the smallest setback, the slightest challenge to the way you think your country should look and feel, and operate.

But, surprise…they are not.

And they know how to organize, and strategize, and plan, and they are planning even now — we are — your betters.

And I do not mean by that your social betters. We don’t play those games. We’re not into the whole "I hate myself for being white” bullshit that your side fetishizes, cuz, see, we don’t have to be. The fact you have a small dick isn't because you're white, it's because you're a pussy. But that's no reason to hate yourself, pussy.
We just have to be patient.

And wait for you to pass into that good night, first politically, and then, well…***
Do you hear it?

The sound of your self-importance dying? Your Great Society, as you knew it, ending, permanently?

Because I do, and the sound of its demise is beautiful.

So know this.

If you thought the election of 2008, was payback for 3 millennia of Western dominance remember…

Payback, thy name is…

Temporary.


*** At this point, some versions of the diatribe include the lines below. I cannot imagine that the wise-fool would EVER utter such nonsense - so it must not be true! Even a raving leftist with a death wish for all white people would never utter the following lines, which are sickening, inhuman, and cruel. And certainly leftists are much too honest to ever excise such mental illness from their work, just to save face. So shame on those whities once again, for lying and insisting the following words were uttered by the wise-fool.

And wait for your hearts to stop beating.

And stop they will.

And for some of you, real damned soon, truth be told.