Friday, August 31, 2007

The Amero is here! And it hungers!

How apropos that this post should follow my previous post. Hal Turner may claim he lost track of his Amero coins story, but I didn’t. Today he announced:

The real thing arrives!
Today, I received a single 20 AMERO coin in the mail. A real coin. Real metal, really MINTED by the US Mint in Denver, CO. The proof that it is being Minted in Denver is that the coin is stamped with the Mint Identity letter "D" on the bottom right of the side with the eagle just like regular US coins already in circulation today!

Congratulations, Hal! You have just admitted receiving stolen property of the Federal government through the mail!

The absurdity of this situation has reached a new zenith. What you hold in your hands is a novelty item, nothing more. I remember when I was a kid paying twenty-five cents to have my name stamped on a coin shaped piece of tin, dispensed by a machine on the boardwalk. How much did you pay for this joke, Hal? How much of your contributor’s money did you waste on vindicating yourself? If your source produced this item, you should really have just asked for the cash the moron paid for it and let the story wither on the vine.


Update: I love this guy - it's like talking to a 10-year-old. Kids don't understand irony or sarcasm. You can walk into an ice cream shop and say, "It's soooo hot in here!" and the kid will say, "No it's not hot - it's cold to keep the ice cream from melting."

Congratulations, Hal! You have just admitted to receiving stolen property of the Federal government through the mail! Good job exposing we liars who said this was all a joke.

---------------- Hal Turner Responds:Yes, I did just admit to receiving what you call "stolen property of the federal government." I knew that before I wrote what I wrote.Now think about what you just wrote.In order for the government to prosecute me, they will have to ADMIT the coin is real and admit it was their property. Once they make the charge, they will have made those admissions and at that point I will have been proved 100% correct.-- HT

It's called irony, Hal. It's not stolen property -it's a novelty coin. The joke lies in you taking seriously my claim that it was stolen property when I have being saying it is a fake all along.

Let's try this:

i·ro·ny1 /ˈaɪrəni, ˈaɪər-/
–noun, plural -nies.
the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.
a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.
(esp. in contemporary writing) a manner of organizing a work so as to give full expression to contradictory or complementary impulses, attitudes, etc., esp. as a means of indicating detachment from a subject, theme, or emotion.


I know there are those of you who desperately want to believe this is real. You have invested your lives in bunkers and dried food and ammunition as currency. But: you are being duped. Please take to heart the possibility of what I am saying. I know you may not think I am funny, but I do know humor. This Amero coin thing is a joke. You are wrapped so tight right now that you are on the verge of snapping. You can't see how foolish you look for biting down on this unbaited hook. Relax - take a minute and think. Of course he didn't receive stolen property - because this is make believe.

RE: The Amero. Gullible Much?

The current trend in the blogosphere and related internet radio is toward apocalyptic millennialism that comes in three flavors:

1) Economic meltdown is imminent. The stock market will collapse, inflation will soar, and a massive disruption in goods and services will follow. The portent of this doom is the “lose one third of its value hedge”.
2) A false flag, 9/11 style attack is imminent. This will be the precursor to martial law and the loss of all remaining civil liberties. The portent of this doom is the recent “Portland Oregon False Flag” rumor.
3) An attack on Iran is imminent. Z.O.G. demands expansion of the war on Islam, for the sake of aggrandizing Israel. The portent of this doom is the factitious “Kennebunkport Warning”.

I will NOT provide links to this rubbish. If you are observing the alternative media at all, you will be familiar with these stories. I declare we, those awakened from the herd of sheeple, are officially between Scylla and Charybdis when it comes to news media. The mainstream media is so negligent in its reporting and devoted to fluff pieces and egoistic talking head editorialism, that it has become unwatchable. The alternative media has devolved in the few short years of its existence from covering the news the mainstream media was ignoring, to fabricating stories that promote the world views of those creating and disseminating the fabrications.

Now for my 2007 predictions:
1) There will be no economic meltdown.
2) There will be no 9/11-style false flag.
3) There will be no attack on Iran.

Our overlords work hard at maintaining the status quo. They are not the Machiavellian geniuses they are made out to be by the conspiracy gurus. However, our masters are smart, and they are highly motivated, ruthless, selfish people who have the good life and want to keep it. They are not engineering a stock market collapse – they are trying to float the economy along the best they can figure how. They are not engineering a false flag – they get more credibility by saying they prevent terror rather than by orchestrating it. They are not engineering an attack on Iran. Iraq was a soft target weakened by years of embargoes and diplomatic isolation – Iran has not been so weakened and would be impossible to occupy.

“You are so naïve!” declares the tinfoil hat brigade, “Just you wait! If not this year, than next year...If not next year, then in 2012 when the Mayan calendar expires and planet X causes the polarity of the earth’s magnetic field to reverse, driving reptiloids from Lake Superior to shape shift into flying sasquatches that enslave the human race!”

Yeah, yeah – I’ve heard it before. I’ve been waiting…and waiting…and waiting. The decline of Western Civilization is a glacial process. Even supposedly titanic events like 9/11 fail to bring about ultimate catastrophe. The belief that following disaster there will be paradise is millennialism, regardless of the context. Rather than waiting for the collapse of the first society to begin building the second society, create a second society now.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Intel Apologizes for Racist Advertisement

STORY. I see no problem here - Just 400 years of American history... Or 4 million years of evolution... Or both.

What do you think Negro athletes are in today's America? They are not entrepreneurs, money-men, or corporate masters. Negro athletes are animals, chattel bought and traded by an elitist business cadre who uses them to satisfy America's insatiable psychological hunger for physical-supremacy-via-proxy.

I have never understood the motivation to sit and cheer for someone else to represent you at an endeavor you would like to succeed in.

I love PC games. However, I could never get off watching someone else win a computer game. I could never ecstatically lose myself in the victory of someone else beating a game I was too lame to be able to play. I could never riot because that person failed to win and someone from another city, or state, or country won instead of the guy from my hometown.

Oh, but that's just a computer game - it's not SPORTS!

IT'S NOT FUCKING SPORTS!! (They cry orgasmically)


Was it as good for me as it was for you? No. And it never could be. I don't get it. Why do people spend so much time mentally masturbating over sports teams, players, scores, shows, news? It is bizarre in the extreme.

My best postulate is that sports is a substitute for tribal war victory, and has parallels to jingoistic patriotism and the fervor with which modern wars are initially waged (before the full body bags start coming home). But then why are some people not infected? I wouldn't want to lose a war, or see my homeland invaded - but endless emotional proxy, to constantly expose oneself to an orchestrated simulation of a tribal threat? It makes no sense to me. How can it induce such hysteria time and again? Why is there no law of diminishing returns for sports?

On a related note, what is it with foreigners on the teams of historically homogenous nations? I say this with specific focus on European football. How can French people cheer for their national team when the French team is full of Africans? I have seen that some soccer fans throw bananas at the negro players as a form of racist taunting. What does it mean to say that the French team achieved a victory, if the world considers a Negro to be their best player, or simply if their team has non-French people on it? That certainly doesn't sound like anything ethnically French people should be proud of. If your only response to this query is - the best player France has isn't black, he's a white guy - you are totally missing my point AND you are completely hopeless.

Two French Players...

and their Wives:

Monday, August 20, 2007

One Down, Twenty Million to Go

A mestizo female who hid out in a Chicago church last year to avoid being deported has FINALLY been arrested. Sra. Puta had traveled to Los Angeles to speak at area churches, hoping to rally support for the cause of her fellow vermin. I knew that if the government would just give my invention a try, we could catch that filth:

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Fun with Paranoid Schizophrenia

When delusions crumble and one cannot admit one is wrong, there exists no other option but to: TURN UP THE CRAZY!

…so has Hal Turner done. His most recent post about his Amero coins is below, followed by a rebuttal.

Unlike many, I actually KNOW how the Minting process for currency actually works. They intially ask for designs. They hold a contest to choose a winning design. Then they begin produciung "collectors coins" and, finally, they implement the new coin. The process is long, drawn out and expensive. It never happens for "fantasy."


The rest is at Hal’s website. And of course, I keep a copy of all these ridiculous articles, so I can pull them out later and say – remember when…

A response to Hal:
1) “NETWORK CNBC CONFIRMS” CNBC did not confirm this. A man named Steve Previs was interviewed on CNBC in NOVEMBER 2006 who told people to look up the Amero on the internet. He seems to believe the Amero is coming.
2) You said you would hold the coins in your hands. Are you now saying that the pictures of the coins are designs, “part of a contest” not actually minted coins? In that case, the coins you showed us are fantasy because they DO NOT EXIST. They DO NOT PROVE the Amero is going to be manufactured. The vagaries of minting and your claimed exhaustive knowledge of it are meaningless to whether or not the pictures you showed us are of actual coins.
3) If the government is commissioning artists to create drafts, and if some schmuck named Steve Previs knew about the Amero last year, how are you breaking the story? Can’t you see that you are trying to lend credibility to the false story – that you had proof of the Amero in the form of pictures of actual coins you later claimed you were going to hold in your hands soon – by connecting it to the clip of Steve Previs talking about the Amero on CNBC. In reality, you could have just run the clip of Steve Previs as your proof of the Amero, you didn’t need pictures of coins. The issue remains – your pictures are not of real coins – they are still fakes and do not in and of themselves prove the Amero is being produced.

You are back peddling rather than admitting you made false claims. The issue is not if THE AMERO is being produced, planned or implemented. The issue is if YOUR PICTURE OF THE AMERO coins are real. They aren’t – just say it and move on. If we permit your logic to go unchallenged, any person who makes a photoshop picture of an Amero coin is proving the existence of the Amero conspiracy.

For example...Here is another picture of an Amero coin! And this one is pure gold! It was delivered to me by a well placed white supremacist leprechaun who has infiltrated the Department of Defense.

Please Hal, get HELP.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

*** More on Hal's Amero Coins = WTF? ***

This afternoon Hal Turner posted this:

Looks like a Photoshop job to me, done with the emboss tool.
-------------- Hal Turner responds: A lot of people have made similar comments. I guess it's easier to believe the images are fakes rather than accept the ugly reality we're being sold out by our own government. I have told my contact in the Mint to get me the coins themselves. He initially balked because this is supposed to be "hush hush" but now that the SHTF with my expose', I'm told the feds are in a shit fit. They are trying to make certain none of the coins get out, but my contact in the Mint will "take" some and get them to me. I expect to have the real coins in my hands within the next week. When I get them, I will take photos of them in my hand and even make a brief video of them, actually in my hand, being held, flipped, rotated and whatever else can be done to prove they're real. This way everyone can see they are, in fact, real coins. Then all the naysayers can apologize and be quiet. HT

Are you insane? Michael Rivero already revealed these coins were fake at 10 am this morning! I didn't even focus on the fact the coins looked like computer animation because I never for an instant thought they were pictures of actual metal objects. I never considered that Hal thought these were pictures of real coins. That only adds a new dimension of crazy to this story. Let me be the first to say: to all the dupes who believe Hal and to Hal himself: when you see that these are fakes and don't hold them in your hands - you all can apologize and be quiet.

I haven't listened to his show since 7chan people took it down. Some eight months later and just 10 minutes into the show and he's begging for money again. He will probably shut the show off early tonight to teach his listeners a lesson. That will also show those 25 contributors what he really thinks of them.

This just in, Hal's currency confusion continues: Hal announces an emergency infusion of cash has been received from a mysterious, top-hat-wearing benefactor!

*** Jury of Her Peers, CDN asks the question: What would happen if you put 10 women on a jury trying a case of a wife murdering her husband? Sentence: 67 days in a mental health facility. ***

Mary Winkler, pastor’s wife and Nigerian fraud enthusiast, who killed her husband with a shotgun blast to the back, has gone free after two months at a psychiatric hospital in Tennessee. The total time she served for murdering her husband was 210 days. Why only 210 days? Well, she claims he was physically and mentally abusive. That he made her wear “slutty" clothes and engage in lewd sex acts. And after losing tens of thousands of dollars to a Nigerian scam artist she was afraid of how he would react, so she confronted her husband, shotgun in her hand. Her family testified that they had seen her with black eyes and large bruises over the past three years. THREE YEARS – and they did nothing. I call BS! B-fucking-S. This nation is full of fucking retards who will believe any old bullshit. Currently, the murdered pastor’s parents have custody of the children, and have filed a multimillion dollar lawsuit against Mary Winkler. Meanwhile, she begins her job at a dry cleaners who’s owner, one Paul Pillow (((snicker)))reportedly said: “everyone in McMinnville is glad she's back.” Hmm, I’m guessing Matthew Winkler’s parents don’t live in McMinnville.

Let’s review:
1) She fell victim to a well known scam and lost tens of thousands of dollars, all the while lying to everyone she knew about her behavior.
2) She supposedly was abused for years, never mentioned it to anyone, and decided only to resist her husband AFTER she had lost the family’s savings.
3) Her family did nothing to help her even though they saw signs of abuse, which they only seem recall and act upon once Mary was on trial for murder. (Note that during her police interrogation she compared the verbal abuse she suffered from her husband to the verbal abuse her mother suffered from her father. I wonder how daddy liked that comparison?)
4) She murdered her husband with a shot in the back. “In the wee hours the next morning, as her daughters slept elsewhere in the house, Mary Winkler picked up her husband's 12 gauge shotgun, aimed it at his back as he lay in bed and fired a single shot from less than 3 feet away. She then left him there to die a slow death amid his own pooling blood, fleeing with her daughters to the beach for what she knew would be one final getaway with her girls.”
5) As stated above, she ran away with her three young children, rather than seek help or turn herself in. She said she did this because she wanted to have one last fling with the girls before prison.

I know what’s let do (intentional poor grammar) – Let’s give her her chillen back. After all, chillen belong with their mother, no matter how stupid, mentally ill, or deceitful she is.

Does it occur to anyone that if all a woman has to do to get away with murder is to say she was abused (not prove abuse mind you, only level accusations in tandem with introducing a black afro wig and an eight inch pair of stiletto heels into evidence as proof she was sexually abused) that some women might lie about abuse to save their own filthy stinking asses? As hard as it may be to realize this, someone has to say it: Just because this stupid cunt was depressed and mental doesn’t mean it was her husband’s fault.

A little known fact about the Winkler case is that Winkler insisted detectives photograph her both with and without her foxy-black-mama wig, the wig her abusive husband so adored.

I am just waiting for the interview where she tells the reporter, with deepest sincerity and a look of exuberant bliss on her haggish face: I know God has forgiven me, and that’s all that matters.


Weak White Women and The Weak White Men who Love them

Today, I want to engage in more speculation on male-female differences, and how feminism and the female mind in general is a weakness infecting our Western Civilization. I want to share with you a couple of quotes, and links to find the articles. I don’t agree with these articles in full, but the bits I am sharing I agree with absolutely.

From Spare the Women, William Tucker, 2004:

Killing all the men and sparing women of the enemy is as old as history. When Moses sent the Israelites again the Midianites, he commanded them: Now therefore kill every male among the little ones and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves. (Numbers 31: 17-18)

The strategy has a simple biological basis. Women are the "scarce resource" in human reproduction. One man can impregnate a thousand women but a woman can only be impregnated, at any given time, by one man. Men reproduce by controlling women. Women reproduce by going with controlling men.


This underlying sexual dynamic explains -- to my mind at least -- why women seem to have such difficulty in grasping the idea Islam forms a direct threat to our civilization. My wife assures me, with complete sincerity, that Mohammad Atta never would have flown a jumbo jet into the World Trade Center if people had been "nice" to him while he was living in this country. This makes him, of course, a victim of discrimination, an object of American prejudice -- and ultimately a man without his own history or religion. Women are natural appeasers. When two bull moose are battling over a harem, the females simply wait until a winner emerges and them [sic] go with him. Contemporary human females seem to retain some of this generic passivity. They cannot fathom the life-or-death stakes these conflicts present to men. Deep in their hearts they know that -- like Khalid Shaikh Mohammed -- the victor will ultimately spare their lives. Women -- and the male politicians who appeal to them -- honestly believe that hostile outsiders bent on destroying our civilization can be appeased.

From Girly Girls and Girly Boys: The Ancestral Roots of Man-Think versus Fem-Think, Kent Bailey, 2004:

In humans and chimpanzees, however, it is the female who must leave the safe home environment and then integrate herself into the "groom's" often strange and threatening family and tribal configuration. I suggest that this phenomenon goes to the very heart of female psychology and the dynamics of fem-think. Upon entering a new, strange, and possibly dangerous new social environment, the female gave up her old culture for a new one and her survival was predicated upon doing so quickly and skillfully. Under duress, she was required to give up her family culture partially or completely, and to essentially "become one of them." We see that the Stockholm syndrome, cultural relativism, and "going with the cultural flow" have ancient roots indeed on the distaff side. The survival credo of fem-think throughout history has been, "Tell me what to do and I will do it if you promise to be nice."

In the world of fem-think, one does not develop, defend, or maintain a pre-existing culture, but one, [sic] instead one relies upon the three "A's" of survival in a strange camp- appeasement, adjustment, and adaptation. I am not aware of women, as a group, ever going to war to repel invaders, to protect the integrity of a pre-existing culture, or over matters of moral or theological abstraction. All of that is men's work premised upon the principles of man-think. I suggest that a small cadre of the intellectual left intuitively understood this over fifty years ago and they brilliantly conspired to co-opt the feminist movement and its girly girls and girly boys into the war against men, man-think, religion, and the Western way of life. As in ancestral times, females readily integrated themselves into this new "culture" and embraced it as their own.
*** Amero Joke ***

Last night, Hal Turner posted this on his website:


Then Michael Rivero, with suspicion, picked it up:

The "Amero" is here?
"The Hal Turner Show" has received images of the new unit of currency they are planning. It is called "the Amero" which will replace the "Dollar" and the "peso" in all three countries once they are merged out of existence!

My first reaction to these coins was laughter. They are such propaganda. I posted my response to these pictures on Hal Turner’s Website. Here are a few reasons to doubt this “PROOF” and realize we are looking at a joke (I post them here in case they don’t get posted at Hal’s site):
1) Notice the use of fasces on the 20 and 100 coins. Get it? North American Union (NAU) = Fascism. Well, duh.
2) Notice that arrows have been replaced by lightning bolts and the eagle in no longer bald. Once again, NAU = European-style Fascism.
3) The third coin is touted as pure silver, yet it has the same value as the second coin. It’s comforting to know that our ZOG-NWO masters will be reinstating a policy of using precious metals based currency, not a barcode tattooed to the palm or forehead.
4) We should also thank ZOG-NWO that the coins should be really easy to forge, since their design will be so simplistic.

Don’t waste your time trying to convince me that these are the real deal. They aren’t. They aren’t leaked prototypes either, so don’t pursue that concept. Don’t try and tell me that even if they aren’t real they have propaganda value for our side, because they don’t. They make people who believe in them look foolish at best and insane at worst. They only have propaganda value to our enemies. And no, they aren’t disinformation either, part of a massive conspiracy to discredit Hal Turner and other radical internet personalities. They are a joke. I know humor. These coins are meant to make you laugh, even if they don’t. (This was a line I used on my show, it too was meant to make you laugh, even though it didn’t.)

I would like there to be a global economic meltdown. I believe it would precipitate the clash of civilizations in which White people will either triumph or be annihilated. Either way it turns out, the slow, mind-numbingly painful decline of our race will come to an end. Life has become a torture watching the once great White race debase itself and grovel in the Mud at the pleasure of its Zionist masters. The problem is, the meltdown is not coming, and the decline continues at an arithmetic/linear pace, not an exponential one. Yes, the pace is excruciating, and resembles dental work without anesthesia performed by the shakiest, most hesitant, blind, 90-year-old, arthritic grandma ever to get through the Orin Scrivello, DDS Memorial Dental school.

Enter the cheerleaders for our swift decline. I’ll admit, until the past few months I had no idea what a sub-prime mortgage was. I am a tenant indentured servant, like my peasant ancestors before me. On the one hand, thankfully, I had radical left and right online news and blogs to assure me that a mass of people, unable to make payments on sub-prime mortgages was about to set into motion a global economic collapse. On the other hand, unfortunately, I’ve heard it all before. America has not been done in by a depression, fuel crisis, junk bonds, recession, Y2K, 9-11, or a stock market bubble. As the value of the dollar dropped last year, I was assured that China would dump its reserves and America would collapse. Now I’m assured the mortgage market will cause financial Armageddon followed by actual Armageddon. Now for the secret: this is simple millennialism. This is the same old end-of-the-world nonsense that the powerless have duped people with time and time again. I know we feel hopeless, and the world is spinning out of our control, but an apocalypse is not going to let us come into our own when we can’t manage to save our race even in relatively good times - The theory goes that the best of our race (which some have likened to a proverbial frog) will survive such catastrophe, will leap out in time, but if said frog remains in a pot of gradually warming water it will die. Without catastrophe, no awakening. They may be right about that. But continuously, no catastrophe manifests, and the status quo decline proceeds.

I wonder what story will be made up to shrug off this latest idiocy (Hal: It was a joke all along! Listeners: Yeah, we knew that too, Hal. Heh, Heh?) This sooo smacks of déjà vu. Check this post from the CDN Blog archive from December of 2006:

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Countdown...5...4...3...2...1...3...2...1... No, for real this time...5...4...3...2...wuuuhhhhhnnnnnnnn...n..n.2...

In the early afternoon on Sunday, Hal Turner posted this on his website:

Countdown. . . .Gold and Silver Commodities Markets Open in Asia at 2:30 Eastern US Time todayWe will begin to see reaction to the China Dollar Sell-offYou too can monitor the live market at the link below. . . .SCROLL to the THIRD chart showing The World Spot Price - Asia/Europe/NY markets!

This was the capstone of his economic meltdown hysteria. What a freakin’ surprise – by 4:30 EST that post had disappeared. No meltdown today. I would like to point out what I see as an emerging trend of White Nationalist Millennialism:When the world collapses, we will come into our own! We’ll be on top of the heap!

How we are supposed to do that when we can’t get our act together right here and right now is beyond me. A so-called “leader” in the White Nationalist movement can’t just make these claims and then erase the evidence when they don’t come true. Besides being counter-productive, it is slimy and dishonest. I’ve had enough of Hal Turner.

Update: 6 hours later and my post is not published on Hal's website. It was just a paragraph long, and was neither vulgar or deliberately insulting. I just made my points about the coins and left.

Update 2: Michael Rivero has found the source of this coin fraud: "Fantasy Pattern Coins"

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

*** Lonely LOLita ***

Anyone out there listening to The Insurgent Radio Show? It's my favorite of the White racist internet shows available. I get tired of Christian / Christian Identy crap REAL quick. Over the past couple of shows, the issue of male-female relations has been a hot topic thanks to Lone Wolf Leta (sp?). After "Grace" called TT yesterday, I had to send him an e-mail about her message:

Dear Mr. Metzger:

Whoever that female was who reamed you out on your answering machine yesterday calling herself Grace sure did sound a lot like Leta, not just in voice but in spirit. I’d like to remind whoever it was that it’s kind of hard to be a gallant white knight carrying a delicate, chaste maiden over a mud puddle while she’s screaming: “Lift me up higher you fucking dumbass! Jeezus fucking Christ, haven’t you heard of fucking chivalry?”

He may not want to pursue the issue, but I do. It seems to me that among the many consequences of feminism and sexual liberation is schizophrenia in male-female relationships. What is it with women who want equal pay, equal say, and equal lay – but still want their virtue defended? How does that work? Hold a door for one woman and she smiles, hold a door for another and she chews you out. Stand up for a lady who’s got some guy leering over her and she could thank you or she could tell you to butt out, she can handle it. Say to a gal how beautiful she looks and she might call you a pervert, don’t say it and she might leave with the guy who did say it. Feminism confounds man’s kindness, turning his every action into a political statement.

Personally, I agree with Leta’s puritanical streak. I don’t think it’s just a Christian or religious thing to want to inhibit promiscuity. There are societal benefits to virginity, chastity and monogamy – like preventing the spread of STD’s, making sure every child has a two parent household, and avoiding the emotional damage of a cheating lover. But, our people don’t need to shriek about morality or God or the good ol’ days to get this point across. And we really don’t need one more issue added to the heap to divide the struggle. This is a personal matter each lone wolf should deal with – we have much more to worry about as white racists.

I don’t know why everyone thinks that to be in the struggle they have to agree on everything all the time or be enemies.

If you haven't heard the last two shows yet, go and get them. They should prove amusing.

Monday, August 06, 2007

What to do if your car is submerged, and you are retarded.
This report proudly presents what to do if your car is submerged in water. What timeliness, given that falling off a collapsing bridge into murky water is currently the number one public fear. According to the report, 1500 vehicles a year will end up in such a situation. The problem with this story is that its life saving acronym is completely retarded: S.O.S Go!

Stay Calm. (Fair enough)
O. Open the window (O is for obvious, too.)
S. Unbuckle seatbelt (Forget the fact we are swapping verbs and nouns with this acronym, what kind of fucking advice is it to tell a person to unbuckle the seatbelt if they want to get out of a sinking car? Do these people have to push the OnStar button when they get stuck in their cars on a day-to-day basis?
OnStar: “Hello, this is OnStar.”
Driver: “OnStar, I can’t get out of my car.”
OnStar: “Did you unbuckle your seatbelt?”
Driver: “What’s that? I’ve don’t understand your technical jargon, magic talking button lady.”)
Go! Get out of the car. (This completes our exercise in absolute, unmitigated stupidity. If you need or think you can use this acronym you are dead already.)

It should be noted that the demonstration is laughable at best. The car ends up submerged only to just below the window (Convenient!), the window is rolled down (What is the likelihood power windows would work in such a situation? Also, what about letting water rush in if you are completely submerged?), and the driver is capable of swimming out of the car (Tough shit for anyone who can’t swim or who has to swim against the force of inrushing water).

A quote from the officer interviewed in the piece: “A common misconception is you have to wait til’ the vehicle actually submerges, and then open up the door.” WTF? Who the hell has been spreading that around? I have never heard that before. What kind of idiot is out there saying: “Oops! I’ve driven into the river again! I better wait for my car to go completely underwater before I try to escape.”

I'm almost ready to try to escape!

I have an acronym to follow if you accidentally end up watching a news story on
S. Stay calm.
O. Open your favorites.
S. Select the link to the suicide support network of your choice.
Go! Get the gun out of your mouth. It’s not your fault everyone is so stupid.

Friday, August 03, 2007

The Chimp who Would be King

Imagine a bulldyke rattling a monkey’s cage with a piece of poo on a stick and you have pretty much got an idea of the current democratic presidential contest. In the past couple of years, Obama has enjoyed the public adoration that was once the purview of Colin Powell. Remember a time when people asked if Powell would be America’s first black president? Now that crown of watermelon seeds and chicken bones has been passed to Obama, with self-hating White people everywhere maniacally trampling one another to be the first to declare they would vote for whatever ape-creature-turned-candidate is the current media darling.

But Obama can’t escape the limitations to his frontal lobes imposed by the Negro portion of his half-breed genetics. Twice in the past week he has let Hillary's mind game get the better of him, and the media has noticed. Obama’s failures are like the moment in a conversation when you find out that the otherwise intelligent, likeable guy or gal you have taken an interest in admits he or she has Hepatitis C, but it doesn’t interfere with day-to-day life. It’s a buzzkill that signals the end of a flirtation, and a slow decline into avoidance and eventual unknowing. When I read this quote from Obama, I was not the only one who realized it could have lifted from the latest George the Second monologue:

"There are terrorists holed up in those mountains who murdered 3,000 Americans. They are plotting to strike again. […] If we have actionable intelligence about high-value terrorist targets and President Musharraf won't act, we will."

Barrack Obama, Candidate for the Presidency of the United States
Hear that? It’s the sound of a gorilla thumping its chest. It kind of sounds like bongos, but it is definitely some sort of bestial, territorial pissing gone awry. That was Obama’s response to Hillary’s criticism that Obama was naive. She put out the banana on a wire, and, being a monkey, Obama couldn’t help but lunge for it. Check out this link for a consideration of the Pakistani response to Obama.

And just yesterday, Obama was caught flubbing an answer to a hypothetical question about nuclear strikes against Al-Qaeda. Here was what he said:

I think it would be a profound mistake for us to use nuclear weapons in any circumstance … involving civilians," he said, appearing uncomfortable with the query.

Later, he made a second try:

"Let me scratch that. There's been no discussion of nuclear weapons. That's not on the table."

This isn’t the junior high debate club you retard! You don’t get a second try. The cameras are rolling, or hadn’t you noticed? (((devilish giggling)))

Thursday, August 02, 2007

USA continues to slip comfortably into 3rd World Status

Follow these links for a couple of local stories about the Minnesota bridge collapse:

Bridge passed inspections last year, ongoing repair work was superficial

7 dead, 20 still missing

Of course, the media pundits response to this will be:

America's infrastructure is not failing! Bridges fall down all the time. One fell in Canada a few years ago, remember? And you pinko traitors LOVE Canada! This is just another example of Chicken Little chirping "The sky is falling!" You people are defeatist cynics who hate George Bush and the recent success the troop surge has garnered. We point out how only 70-some soldiers died last month, the lowest death tally this year, and they whimper "My bwwiddge fewell dowonn." Get over it. If we fail in Iraq it will be because of whiners like you complaining the government is putting its resources in the wrong place. This was a terrible tragedy, but, I mean, how do we know that Al-Qaeda didn't do this? How do we really know?

I think that covers the talking points memos being drafted this morning.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Popadics’ Publicity Stunt Goes on Despite Lackluster Public Disapproval

Chrissy Popadics and Ian Johnson, that ever-so-charming interracial match-made-in-heaven have finally jumped the broom... Literally- they jumped over a broom following their vows – like in Roots (((snicker))). We here at CDN think it is just dreadful that you evil white supremacists tried to intimidate this couple with threats, without even so much as a pipe bomb filled with nails being found in the church. What is the movement coming to?

Slow down Congo Romeo- there's no banana in there!

For your titillation (((snicker))), CDN has exclusive coverage of the wedding…

Here is a special keepsake handed out to guests arriving at the ceremony, so they will always remember this special day:

Chrissy Popadics lovingly holds her fiancées hand at the altar, while making guttural cooing and clicking noises under her breath to keep him calm amidst the crowd of onlookers.

Ian and Chrissy leaving the church, husband and wife:

At the reception, Ian’s infant nephew playfully attempts to take the pacifier from the mouth of Chrissy’s nephew:

The reception was held at Ian’s parent’s home:

A lively (and somewhat tipsy!) Ian nearly topples the wedding cake:

You can find the honeymoon photos and movies at: