Friday, November 03, 2006

What is it with Queer Conservatives?

Have you all (by which I mean you three, oops, down to two now) been following the story of Ted Haggard? Or as he should be known Ted IBMBITIA Haggard: Ted “I bought meth but I threw it away” Haggard.

A short review: Haggard has gained a lot of attention lately because of a documentary exposing Jesus Camp, a purpose driven (I couldn't resist) brainwashing academy meant to produce the next generation of Christian Fundamentalist Elitist Zionist Zombies. Don’t get me wrong…all education is brainwashing, all communication is propaganda, and I don’t fault them for that. But Haggard, with his creepy clenched-teeth, Gumby lips, set-too-close staring faggot eyes, and leering grin is a filthy, lying hypocrite.

Why, you say? Because a fellow faggot has outed Haggard, forcing the reverend to resign from his pastor’s position and putting the “man of God” in a most awkward position (similar to being bent over a hotel bed and reamed up the ass by a gay escort who is injecting crystal meth into Haggard's scrotum).

Yes, Haggard is accused of having monthly man sex encounters with a male prostitute / massage therapist / walking methamphetamine referrals-expert, over the past three years.

Haggard is a man who proselytizes his faith with a generous dose of anti-faggot rhetoric, and who is linked by the media to faith-based conference calls with commander and queer George W. Bush.

Here is more information:
An article about the latest Queer Conservative Scandal
A thoroughly ironic snippet from the movie documentary about Jesus Camp
An interview with Gumby Lips Haggard, conducted by equally demented evolutionist proponent Richard Dawkins

Now, I reassert my question: What is it with Queer Conservatives? Someone please give me an insight on this, I am at a loss for answers.

Ted Haggard demonstrates his finely honed technique.

In the name of the Lord God I command you to come out! Devil, come out of him! Release, and feel the sin flow right from you. I am a receptacle of the Lord. Give me all you got Jesus, I'm ready to receive you! Thy rod and thy staff comfort me. He maketh me to lie down. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain, so the itsy-bitsy messiah went up the spout again.


  1. Thanks. Super blog. Bravo. Who can you trust these days? While going through Google, MSN etc. I ran across some new and explosive (to conservative fundies) articles. You might want to check out "Roots of (Warlike) Christian Zionism," "Pretrib Rapture Diehards" (see LaHaye's "gay" hypocrisy under "1992"), "Pretrib Hypocrisy," "The Rapture Index (Mad Theology)," "Thomas Ice (Bloopers)," "Appendix F: Thou Shalt Not Steal," and "Famous Rapture Watchers." Thanks again for exposing religious phonies! M. F.

  2. I am glad you like it.

    And thank you for the further reading.

    The Christian nutcases in America today are cowboys riding their A-bombs to glory.

    Pollution? War? Crime? National Debt? Jesus will fix all that when he comes back. And we'll be raptured away to Meth Heaven, where queer, buck naked angels will run free with their buddies Foley, Gannon, and Haggard.

  3. Actually, it appears this is similar to the infestation of the catholic church... liberal queers looking for 'free meat' victims, while simultaneously exploiting the opportunity to sabotage their enemy (aka Christians) from within via tabloid-style media exposure.

    Typical antichrist attack tactic... typical naive evangelical reaction. Sheeple to slaughter.

    Let the Rapture begin! Or, end.

  4. When I read Haggard's wife is standing by her Queer, I was shocked to discover I was not shocked. The fundamentalists love sinners like faggots love butt sex.

    Unacceptable Pun:
    Mrs. Ted Haggard, so to be known as Mrs. Fag Hag-gard.