Thursday, October 12, 2006

Idiots, Idiots Everywhere...

This Story Reminds Me of My Eighth Grade Gym Teacher
Coach who had autistic kid beaned imprisoned: Downs, 29, allegedly offered 8-year-old player $25 to hit teammate
Coach admits guilt: "I didn’t do nothing"

This Year’s Must Have Fashion Accessory: Your Own Nigger AIDS Orphan from Africa!
Malawi boy's future bleak before Madonna
Imagine how the other children felt when Madonna took one of their own out of squalor and left the rest to starve to death.

Bugs Bunny Blamed For Spontaneous Generation of Botulism in Carrot Juice
Consumers to blame for botulism outbreak, juice maker says
The company that distributed carrot juice linked to a string of botulism infections has blamed the consumers for not refrigerating the carrot juice properly.

Dear, Bolthouse Farms:
Due to the research of men like Pasteur, we now know that microorganisms and the toxins they create do not spontaneously materialize from foul vapors. Please fire the 17th century alchemist you have working in your Quality Control Lab and then shoot to death your spokesperson for having even suggested that Clostridium botulinum is an acceptable contaminant in carrot juice that can be dealt with by standard refrigeration.

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