Monday, July 31, 2006

The Truth Means Always Having to Say You’re Sorry, Over and Over and Over Again

Back on 10 July 2006, a District of Columbia police commander addressed the concerns of a group of Georgetown citizens who were seeking reassurance following the murder of Alan Senitt. Senitt had his throat slashed during a robbery and assault in which his companion narrowly escaped being raped. Obviously, the community wanted to know how the cops knew they had apprehended the right suspects; one Commander Andrew Solberg told them:

“I would think that at 2 o'clock in the morning on the streets of Georgetown, a group of three people - one of whom is 15 years old, one of whom is a bald chunky fat guy - are going to stand out…They were black. This is not a racial thing to say that black people are unusual in Georgetown. This is a fact of life."

And wouldn’t you know…the “white” officer was reprimanded and reassigned for his statement. This weekend, after apologizing before an African American congregation (in a church that has stood for the past 144 years) in Georgetown, Solberg has been reinstated to his previous position.

Said Solberg: “I understand the hurt and division I’ve put into this community.”

What community? Consider this excerpt from an article that ran in the Washington Post on 16 July 2006:

Then, in 1950, Congress passed the Old Georgetown Act "to preserve and protect places of historic interest," but it had the effect of making Georgetown's gentrification legally enforceable. It was pushed through despite fears from "Negro groups," The Washington Post reported at the time, that it "might drive them from the area." Less than a decade later, Georgetown's black population had dwindled to fewer than 3 percent, and in 1972 The Post noted that fewer than 250 remained, "so few that some Georgetown residents are unaware they are there."
Blacks were thus becoming invisible by the time the likes of Democratic doyenne Pamela Harriman started creating Georgetown's all-white "social salons" of such ludicrous legend. Indeed, racism was so entrenched in the nation's capital that even the glamorous young Sen. John F. Kennedy voluntarily signed a deed containing a "restrictive covenant" when he bought his house on N Street NW in 1957, agreeing that the home should not "ever be used or occupied or sold, conveyed, leased, rented, or given to Negroes or any person or persons of the Negro race or blood."
- Georgetown's Hidden History, Andrew Stephen

Now, please consider this:

1) According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in the year 2000, there were 8,450 residents of Georgetown, 255 of which were African American. LINK TO CENSUS MAP

2) From Unusual = Not usual, common, or ordinary.

3) Are we living in Bizarro World? No.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

The Crucifixion of Mel Gibson: Nail 3 of 3
ADL condemnation Of Mel Gibson has arrived on schedule!

Abraham H. Foxman, the ADL national director has declared:
“Mel Gibson's apology is unremorseful and insufficient. It's not a proper apology because it does not go to the essence of his bigotry and his anti-Semitism.”

Director Foxman has instructions for his tribe and their servants:
“We would hope that Hollywood now would realize the bigot in their midst and that they will distance themselves from this anti-Semite.”

Nail 2 of 3: Pending

You know what Mel, your daddy was right.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

The Crucifixion of Mel Gibson: Nail 1 of 3
Well, it seems that by the time I had written the previous article, #1 on my list had already occurred. While most news sources were simply reporting the official story circa 5 am this morning, circa 9 pm last night (an entertainment rag) reported that it had obtained the original arrest report (not the supposedly sanitized version everyone else apparently got).

Surprise! During his arrest, drunk Mel let fly with a relentless stream of profanity and anti-Semitic hysteria according to the original report composed by L.A. County Sheriff's Deputy James Mee. Now everyone is playing catch up, and the news coverage this afternoon has shifted to reporting the anti-Semitic remarks Gibson made.

As of now, this is still the front page story on so take a look and read Mee’s report if you like –
God Forsakes Another
Mel Gibson was arrested for driving under the influence in Malibu on Friday, July 28, in the wee hours of the morning.

Listen…can you hear that? That is the sound of schadenfreude on a global scale.

Mel Gibson’s staunch traditionalist Catholicism and allegations that his Passion of the Christ was unabashedly anti-Semitic have become grist for the Hollyweird slander mill since Passion of the Christ became a surprise hit.

Look for the following to occur in the very near future:
1) Rumors to emerge that he uttered anti-Semitic comments while intoxicated.
2) Reporters and gossip columnists to question Mel’s faith with accusations like: If he is so religiously minded, how come he got busted for DUI?
3) Condemnation from anti-defamation types that God will curse those who curse them.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Compulsory Diversity News = Radio Poison!
As the least popular show on the Turner Radio Network, CDN has, up until now, held the distinction of being: “That show I don’t listen to before Phil from Omaha comes on.”

But this is no more. With the termination of Phil from Omaha, CDN has become the only show on the Turner Radio Network to hold the distinction of having dead air before it and dead air after it in its brief six week run!

The very first episode of CDN faced several challenges:
1) It having been announced that the host of the show was black before the show even aired – untrue but certainly entertaining on a racist radio network.
2) The show just before CDN aired backing out at the last minute, leaving people to wait through an hour of filler music before the show aired.
3) The show’s tremendous WTF? factor.

Still, it’s not been so bad.

Please Tune in Tonight for Episode Six of Compulsory Diversity News
A sample of tonight’s topics: Extremely Late Term Abortions with Andrea Yates, Tranny 9-1-1, Lightning Strikes from Nowhere.

Episode 5 is now available for download. I have clipped Cold Snatch from the end of the recording, since you can download that separately if you want.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

New Hampshire Court Rules in Favor of Racist, Fat Fearing Doctor
His comments were only considered offensive to overweight white women, and fat women don't count as people.


Of course it is only natural to fear and hate fat people and we should all treat fat women in particular with disrespect that their unattractiveness deserves (just as Dr. Bennett did) but explain this:

Google Search: "fat women"
Number One Hit: BBW Sex & Big Beautiful Women Pictures
Fuck real fat women! BBW nude girls are very beautiful! Play with sexy fat ass and big ... Two pages of adorable fat women with huge boobs and fat pussies ...
Total Pages: 2,030,000

Google Search: "thin women"
Number One Hit: Too Fat, Too Thin, Women Can't Win
Eating disorders include anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa; compulsive overeating is a problem as well.
Total Pages: 120,000

Now come on! When are you American men going to start turning thin women into the sexual objects they deserve to be? Are we going to have to start telling young women that unless they become morbidly obese they have no chance of becoming a porn star? What a sad world we live in.

:::Content Alert::: The preceding article was chock full of a substance called irony with a splash of sarcasm for good measure (just in case you missed it).

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

World lets out collective exclamation: Well duh!!!

I love playing space man!
Where do you want the come shot, Lance?
On your face? Sure thing! - Reichen Lehmkuhl

One mincing step for prancing leap for mankind.
Baby-Drowning Enthusiast Andrea Yates is Found Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity!
Is a future romance with John Hinckley in the works?
Will she be the next star of Nanny 9-1-1?
Is she going to Disneyworld?
Only Satan knows for sure!

Catch the expression on her face in that picture…
Excuse me while I go dry heave for half an hour.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Well trap victim in India turns out NOT to be imperiled pretty white girl. India considers putting rescued boy back in well.

In related news, the boy recently rescued may want to indefinitely postpone any future trips to the Netherlands after this:

Dutch Pedophiles Finally Get Political Representation

Monday, July 24, 2006

Israel Destroys Lebanese Death Star Shield Generator

Admiral Ackbar thrilled, but still not kosher.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Stupid is as Stupid Does
Floyd Cochran of One People’s Project has aired a forty-second long commercial on his radio show accusing Forrest Gump of being a white supremacist. Over a Casio keyboard rendition of I Wish I Were in Dixie, Floyd mocks the mentally disabled veteran Forrest Gump and claims that Gump wishes to blame all his problems on what must be presumed are people of color. Here is the script of the commercial, which was presented in a voice with a slow-witted Southern drawl:

Momma says stupid is as stupid does.
Well momma, I’m gonna join me a white supremacist organization.
Momma said, You gonna wear them pointy hats?
No momma, I’m not gonna wear a pointy hat.
I’m going to join the Council of Conservative Citizens.
Momma said, What’s that son?
Well momma, that means I can sit around and bitch and moan about all the bad things going on in my life, but I don’t have to take responsibility. I can blame other folks, momma. Other folks that don’t look like me – cause, I’m white, and I’m superior.

One People’s Project has styled itself an anti-Hate organization that proclaims:
“Hate has its consequences” and
“Intolerance of intolerance is the only intolerance tolerated.”
But it seems in their efforts to tear down white supremacy, One People’s Project has resorted to mocking those who are mentally disabled by invoking one of the most beloved literary and film figures of the past decade, showing an astounding lack of sensitivity to people struggling with mental challenges.

On One People’s Project Forum, Nicole Nichols of Citizens Against Hate encourages the hate-mongering Floyd Cochran directed toward the mentally challenged.
Following this post:
This week's broadcast is a must! Floyd answers some email, and tackles the Confederates - from the flag to the Council of Conservative Citizens. Nikki joins in with her views on the CoCC and a glimpse at what is coming up next. A brief overview of "what is racism ?", And...there are a couple of surprises to tickle your funny bone!

Nikki of Citizens Against Hate responded:
Uh...I think Forrest Gump is a hit!

Oh bravo, you two…
What’s next Floyd? Will you pretend to be Corky from Life Goes On singing anti-semitic jingles for your amusement?
Or will it be fake interviews with kids from the Special Olympics claiming to hate queers so that you can snicker at their slurred speech while you pursue your slander of the mentally disabled?
Or maybe it will be someone with dyslexia struggling to read Mein Kampf over your uproarious laughter at his/her learning disability.

Floyd, you would think that with your public acknowledgment of your own child’s deforming cleft palate and your past assertion that white supremacists want to exterminate what they consider inferior, you wouldn’t have to drag a beloved figure like Forrest Gump, well known for promoting acceptance and understanding of the struggles of the mentally challenged, into your personal crusade against white supremacy.

Maybe you and Nikki still have some personal issues related to your own past associations with bigotry that permit you to wallow in the mud, tearing down the mentally disabled - people you have revealed you deem worthless compared to yourselves by your mocking of the spiritually uplifting story of Forrest Gump. You should be ashamed of yourselves for your crass behavior. What you have done was in incredibly poor taste and reeks of hypocrisy. Discrimination on the basis of mental disability is still discrimination, or haven’t you learned that?

Your callous remarks have been reported to the backers of Tolerance.Org, “A Web Project of the Southern Poverty Law Center.” Tolerance.Org has a specific interest in reaching students, parents, and educators with messages of acceptance and understanding. In the future, students you try to lecture to about diversity might be interested to know that you spend your free time mocking special needs individuals. I suggest you both due some reading at Tolerance.Org right now!

Oh…and here are your asses. There, I have just handed them to you.
Now I will go and laugh at you and your jackass-edness for several hours consecutively.
Happy Belated Birthday Israel!
The New York Time reported today that the United States is rushing a shipment of precision guided bombs to refresh the depleted stocks of the Israeli Defense Force. Last year, Israel concluded an open-ended deal with the U.S. permitting the Land of the Chosen to request munitions as needed from their good friend Uncle Shlomo. Uncle Shlomo is Uncle Sam’s Jewish half-brother who has taken on an increasingly important role in American foreign policy since Uncle Sam’s mysterious stroke following the destruction of the World Trade Center in 2001. While some see Uncle Shlomo’s policies as exclusively Zionist and endangering of American civil liberties, Uncle Sam has been quoted as saying: “Ih likhe puddhing.”

Thus we may rest assured that despite Uncle Sam’s seeming incapacity, Uncle Shlomo is on the job, looking out for American interests in the Middle East. The precision guided bombs are expected to be delivered some time this week, with a card from Uncle Shlomo that reads:
“Dear Nephew Israel, sorry I missed your birthday in May. Please enjoy these bombs. Don’t throw them at any Muslims! Ha Ha! Just kidding. L'Chaim!”

Thursday, July 20, 2006

What will you be doing tonight, say around 10’ish?

Episode 4 of Compulsory Diversity News is now available for download; please check the links on the right side of your screen.

Episode 5 of Compulsory Diversity News airs tonight at 10:00 p.m. EST on the Turner Radio Network. Tonight’s topics include: Jewish Microbes Discovered in Australia, An Interview with Adolph Stemcellbaby, and A Culturally Sensitive Look at Aphorisms.

Leave your comments about tonight's Episode here.
Platoon of Elderly Lebanese Transvestites Halts Israeli Offensive*
Israel’s incursions into southern Lebanon have been met by incredibly stiff opposition from Lebanon’s crack Jamie Farr brigade. Decked out in their Sunday best, pink floral dresses with complimenting white lacey gloves, high heeled shoes, and wax fruit bedecked sunhats, the Jamie Farr commandos have managed to drive back the IDF at several key strategic points along the Israel-Lebanon border with wild arching swings of their Estelle Getty style handbags. Reports are coming in that Israeli military wounded and traumatized have been flooding Red Crystal hospitals behind the dissolving Israeli front. It seems like only a matter of time before the Jamie Farr commandos raise their cedar tree flag from the Wailing Wall.
* CDN cautions readers that exhaustion resulting from 24-hours news coverage of Israel’s latest human rights violation can lead to hallucinations.

What precisely are the Lebanese supposed to fight both the Israelis and Hezbollah with?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Down Will Come Baby, Stem Cells and All
President Bush has exercised his first veto ever after the Senate approved a bill that would expand federal funding for embryonic stem cell research. Tony Snow, White House Press Secretary, explained the President’s position thusly: “The simple answer is he thinks murder's wrong…The president is not going to get on the slippery slope of taking something living and making it dead for the purposes of scientific research."

This should not be viewed as a condemnation of Stem Cell Research, for Bush’s true attitude provides scientists the loophole they need. In 2001 the President funded research on stem cell lines taken from already destroyed embryos: “As a result of private research, more than 60 genetically diverse stem cell lines already exist. They were created from embryos that have already been destroyed, and they have the ability to regenerate themselves indefinitely, creating ongoing opportunities for research. I have concluded that we should allow federal funds to be used for research on these existing stem cell lines, where the life and death decision has already been made.” (1)

Well, not quite indefinitely. Those stem cell lines seem pretty well played out. But there is hope for getting more stem cells to kick around: all scientists need to do is to kill as many embryos as possible and get thousands of stem cells ready for research before asking for funding, thus taking the decision of life and death out of “The Decider’s” hands, then he will fund the research!

Let's not forget that there are other places to get embryonic stem cells from. The CDC reported in 2003 that abortion rates for the previous decade had fallen from a high of around 1.4 million per year in 1990, to a 25-year-low in 2000 per year of 850,000 (2) – An astounding victory for the Culture of Life conservative America wishes to promote. But where do these remaining 850,000 precious little miracles a year go? Why straight to their local landfills, to commune with the other refuse accumulated in a disposable society. But these are, of course, NOT murders! Otherwise, the President would have done something about them. So then, scientists should get on their grungy yard work clothes and go dumpster diving to get more stem cells. Then the federal funding may continue.

You see…it’s all about how you get the stem cells! Platitudes about killing things for scientific research are all well and good, but not practical in the long run. And rest assured, no amount of quibbling over embryonic murder will interfere with state sanctioned “taking something living and making it dead” for other purposes such as killing for justice (capital punishment), killing for democracy (preemptive war), killing to prevent terrorism (support of foreign preemptive wars), and killing for convenience (abortion in general), as long as the mountains of corpses produced by these policies don’t go for scientific research. That would be uncivilized and immoral.


Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Waiting to Exhale (a Cloud of Radioactive Waste)
At the G8 summit last weekend, Putin told Bush Russia does not want a democracy like Iraq has. Bush responds: "Just wait."

Monday, July 17, 2006

Time to feel the Cold Snatch!
This week, Nikki of Citizens Against Common Sense takes a look at the attitudes of racists towards white women on her show Cold Snatch! Download the show from the link below and enjoy her insights.

Additionally or alternatively, you can listen to the show Coldshot at:

The semblance is uncanny.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

We here at Compulsory Diversity News would like to draw your attention to the top story running on Citizens Against Hate as of this date. We added just three little (changes) to make the story more apropos:

“Racism: It’s the Mindset
Often, when brutal crimes are committed by members of (one race against another) we blame the affiliation. It's not the group they belong to but the mindset that they have been indoctrinated into. While one group may seem to spawn more violence than others, the fact remains that many of the individuals attracted to (harm another race) are unstable. Add to the mix the mindset of hate and you have a recipe for disaster. Believing that others are (equal) to you based upon race or ethnic origins is often interpreted by the mentally unstable to mean that bringing harm to that other race is permissable [sic]. This story out of Manning, South Carolina is but one example of such a mindset - and depicts the brutality that accompanies same.” – moment, CAH, 14 July 2006.

Here is another website that gives a picture of the racial composition of crime:

Having viewed that website, feel free to peruse the original CAH article at:

Keep in mind that the “ties to the KKK” involve one of the criminals having mentioned involvement in the KKK as a teenager in a camp for troubled teens circa 1997. That's good enough for CAH, so it is good enough for us!

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Now Hear This!
Or, Now Here This!, for recent graduates of American public schools.
In an effort to spread the diversity around, Compulsory Diversity News will post links for downloads of its previous episodes. However, the most recent CDN episodes will not be posted until the Friday one week AFTER they air, to reward Friday night listeners and punish Friday night partiers. In other words, Episode 4 (14 July 2006) will be available for download Friday, 21 July 2006. Check the "links" section for the latest downloads.
Where in Palestine is Gilad Shalit?
Do you remember who Gilad Shalit is? Of course you don’t. If you did you are anti-Semitic. Those who have accused Israel of fabricating a pretext for military action unfairly point to Shalit as proof of their absurd claim. Shalit was captured by Palestinian militants in June, prompting a brief military campaign culminating in the rocket attack upon the office of Ismail Haniyeh, the Palestinian president-elect. But with the capture of two more Israeli soldiers by Hezbollah, the military action has shifted From Gaza to Lebanon, and Shalit seems to have been forgotten. “SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN” being the operative qualification to this story. Have our listeners so quickly forgotten their lesson in Hebrew Mathematics?

Problem: If you have been waging aggressive military action under the guise of rescuing a captured Israeli soldier in Gaza and two more Israeli soldiers are captured in Lebanon, how many Israeli soldiers will have to be captured to justify an invasion of Syria? The answer is obvious, 3 soldiers must be captured in the Golan Heights to justify an invasion of Syria.

But such a solution is predicated on the need of the previous captives remaining un-rescued, which proves that Gilad Shalit has not been forgotten. Without him, an invasion of Lebanon could not have proceeded. A precedent was needed, which Shalit so graciously provided. But actually rescuing Shalit would be dangerous and might result in his death. And if he died, Israel could not justify an attack on Lebanon to rescue the two soldiers captured there. Thus, the captured soldier Shalit must remain un-rescued in order for Israel to properly defend itself from attempts to capture its soldiers.

Hey now! Don’t give us that look. Don’t make me tell AIPAC on you…

Friday, July 14, 2006

Heidi Should Go Seal Clubbing!
Heidi Klum is reportedly expecting another baby Seal, which she should give birth to sometime around New Year's 2007. The German born supermodel already had one child by an Italian formula one racing enthusiast, a daughter named Leni. Last September Klum gave birth to a son Henry Gunther Ademola Dashtu Samuel, whose father is musician Seal. Take a look at the following picture and see if you can tell which child belongs to which baby's daddy. Note that the picture is proof that miscegenation has no ill effects whatsoever.
CDN Episode 4 Airs Tonight
Theoretically, Compulsory Diversity News Episode 4 airs tonight at 10:00 p.m. EST on the Turner Radio Network. We say theoretically because the Turner Network did not air shows on Thursday. Assuming we do air, place your comments about tonight’s show here.

Selected topics for this episode include:
Senitt is Out of Session, Teens Love Giant Ear Drum Tumors, Hilarious Halal, Hebrew Mathematics 101, and Shrinking Penis Disease - Catch it!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

CDN Gets Results
Following our scathing critique of Disney and Pixar Films, Disney has decided to cut back the number of films it makes per year from 18 to 8. What other conclusion can be drawn than that Disney is bowing to our criticism?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

One Person's Radio Project
Perhaps you have heard of One Person's Project and One Person's Radio? One Person's internet radio program is staffed by a group of highly motivated, one might even say obsessive, anti-racists. In a recent program, Floyd, Nikki, and Tony attempted to tear down Hal Turner, and ended up learning a little about each other at the same time. Perhaps more than they ever wanted to know. You may download a clip from this show at:
Who runs Hymietown?
Compassionate Jewish landlords have been slandered by HUD simply for setting up segregated housing at an apartment complex they owned. Said the landlord: "We may have forced all non-Jews into a ghetto, but at least we didn't build a wall around it, yet."

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Don't worry, he had his throat slashed in the kosher way
Staunch Zionist and former chairman of the Union of Jewish Students murdered by gang of persons we must not assume were African American.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Mammoth Blonde Ambition
The BBC is reporting that a gene has been discovered that determined the hair color of wholly mammoths. Apparently, mammoth hair came in shades of blonde, red, brunette, and black. But did stereotypes apply to the mammoths like some think they do humans?
Comments and question about previous shows (July 7, June 30, June 23 - all 2006) may be left here.

Selected Topics from these Episodes:
Episode 1 - Racist Soap, Japanese Tentacle Fetishism, Lesbian Talk Show Hosts
Episode 2 - Coppertone Pedophiles, An Incovenient Nude, Jolie v. Rainbow Coalition
Episode 3 - Carver's Peanut Butter Lady, Senator Droopy Dog, Julia Roberts = Horse